I think the reason that the overdose epidemic is so devastating is because your average person can empathize with the desire to not be sober. This can cause you to feel two very strong emotions, regardless of whether or not you have suffered a personal loss. One of these emotions is disappointment. In some cases this feeling can be caused solely by the reality that this person was ripped away from your memories that should have been. In other situations, the disappointment is only derived from the lack of understanding of why someone could not have the self control to not land themselves in that situation. We all (at least subconsciously) know that everyone is capable of self control, which is what makes this misunderstanding so frustrating. A lot of people experience both types of disappointment. The other emotion we feel is fear. The idea that the average person can empathize with the desire to not be sober means that the majority of the population has FELT THE URGE or in some form CRAVED to impair their own sobriety (whether that be pills, alcohol, hard drugs, or even smoking a joint), or they know someone who has felt that urge and can sympathize with whatever drove them to be discontent with sobriety. The fear comes from the looming thought, whether you’re conscious of it or not, of where you or your loved ones could have or still could end up if the necessary will power slipped just enough to give up control for that one drink that drowns the liver to death, the one cigarette that turns a life to ashes, the one fix that ruins everything. Addiction isn’t always physical. It takes time to become physically addicted to something, if it ever happens at all. Addiction starts mentally, but it’s a risky line you’re walking once you start depending on a substance to make you feel some sort of happiness or rely on it to distract you from whatever troubles you. Once you feel like you NEED something (other than what all life needs to survive), whether it’s physically or mentally…. you’re addicted. You can get addicted to things that have absolutely no way of making you physically dependent on it. Addiction can be as innocent as the video games you’re CONSTANTLY using to escape reality, the clothes you’re hoarding, the one beer or blunt you absolutely cannot go without to unwind, or the cell phone glued to your face on a daily basis. It’s time to stop romanticizing, normalizing, and enabling addictions. It’s time to stop being in denial. It’s time to start helping each other get better.
I haven’t written in a while.
I haven’t found the time because I’ve been so goddamn wrapped up in staring at your smile.
I haven’t posted a poem in weeks.
I’ve been too busy kissing your shoulders, your back, your lips and your cheeks.
I haven’t felt pain in days.
You’ve been numbing it, making me smile and laugh, always distracting me with your charming ways.
I know this high is temporary.
I’ll miss the euphoria I feel laying next to you with your arms wrapped around me.
The come down is going to be rough.
Filled with paranoid thoughts of how I’m never going to be enough.