Actions Speak Louder Than Words

And finally he hummed those three syllables,

The song I’ve been longing to hear him sing.

Yet as the sweet melody flowed from his lips,

I did not sigh of relief, my heart did not beat faster.

For the first time ever, the magic chant did not cast a spell on me.

It’s charm did not hypnotize me, I did not melt away at the sound.

Instead my heart sang along to the tune it had learned,

By following him in the dance that he taught me in silence.

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High On FWB

I haven’t written in a while.

I haven’t found the time because I’ve been so goddamn wrapped up in staring at your smile.

I haven’t posted a poem in weeks.

I’ve been too busy kissing your shoulders, your back, your lips and your cheeks.

I haven’t felt pain in days.

You’ve been numbing it, making me smile and laugh, always distracting me with your charming ways.

I know this high is temporary.

I’ll miss the euphoria I feel laying next to you with your arms wrapped around me.

The come down is going to be rough.

Filled with paranoid thoughts of how I’m never going to be enough.

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Opposed To The Opposition

We’re polar opposites,

My heart is positive, yours is negative.

The attraction is magnifying,

I’m pulled towards you in some fashion.

I want an explanation, but it’s inexplicable.

I want it to stop, but it’s unstoppable.

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It’s like heroine.

It doesn’t matter how much you know that it’s bad for you,

You’re addicted.

All you want is more, until it’s the death of you.

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I remember the first time I felt fat and ugly.

I was four, standing in front of that mirrored wall, surrounded by dancers that were smaller and prettier than I was.

I remember the first time an adult made me uncomfortable by calling me sexy.

I was six, wearing my brand new, cheetah print, bikini bathing suit.

I remember the first time my heart got broken.

I was eight when some girls I thought were my friends told me that the guy I had a crush on liked me back. When I told him how I felt, they all laughed at me.

I remember the first time a grown man grabbed my ass.

I was ten, standing in line at a convenience store. I went home and cried to my mom.

I remember the first time I cut myself.

I was twelve. The kids at camp forced me to show them my wrists, screaming “emo freak” at me.

I remember my first time I lost a best friend.

I was fourteen and she spent the entire summer stealing from me until I gathered enough courage to confront her. Even though we were practically sisters since birth, she decided she hated me and started telling everyone that I was “a fat bitch.” I still love her and miss her.

I remember my first kiss, my first time falling in love.

I was sixteen and completely blind to the fact that I was being used and cheated on. The same trend has followed with every relationship since.

I remember my first time begging “no, please don’t. please stop.”

I was 18 and drunk when 3 men took advantage of me in the worst way. I lied about it because I didn’t think anyone would believe me. I blamed myself. I wanted to die, and I tried to. Multiple times.

I remember the first time I learned to love myself.

I was twenty when I started to see the beauty in my flaws and my scars. I promised myself from that day forward, I would protect my happiness for the rest of my life.

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A short poem about my favorite body part:

Round and fat,

and full of sass

or small and flat,

it’s still an ass.

Jiggle it around

as you strut.

Wiggle up and down, 

girl flaunt that butt!

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The part that kills me

Is that i remember that first night

When I laid in bed with you

I slept soundly, but I felt your presence

It was everything I craved

It made me so happy

I remember that tension

that spark between us that we both felt

I remember how badly I ached for you to kiss me

But I didn’t know

We didn’t know how strongly we felt for each other

Until I felt you hold my hand

Startled, I woke from my slumber

Just to bask in that moment

The first moment in years to remind what happiness felt like

My heart was beating so fast

The feeling we experienced that night

It made me believe that we would feel that for a long time together

It made me hope that we could feel that forever

I thought “How could two people

who barely know each other

click so quickly

How could we not be meant for each other?”

It took no time for our relationship to start

It took no time for our relationship to end

Our little piece of forever was far too short

but long enough that we both gave everything

yet took too much without hesitation

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