Dreams Are A Bitch That Get Fucked By Reality

Up all day, up all night.

This is a lonely war that I fight

in my head, in my mind.

Shit, there is no worse kind

of regret.

You can bet

that any thought that scares me,

is worse than your worst nightmares

Feel that sinking,

hearts aren’t syncing,

I lay in bed thinking…

and I’m drinking…

eyes are blinking…

gotta stay awake.

Awake because,

even though the thought

of every fucking thing

I’ve done wrong is brought

down on me in my conscious mind,

I’d take that hell over any kind

of sweet release in a dream

where every bad thing may seem

to be better.

Why? Because I know better.

When that dream is over,

no matter how hard I try,

there’s nothing more than to wake up to hell again…

or die.

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Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I love you.

I remember when we used to cuddle on the couch,

I’ve grown too much for the both of us to fit.

I used to run to you wwith every “boo-boo” and “ouch,”

and you always knew just how to fix it.

I remember we would listen to “Butterfly Kisses,”

now whenever I hear that song I tear up.

Like the girl in the song, I grew up and what I miss is

being little, but you’ll never be “losing your baby girl.”

 

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A Heart Made Of Glass

That there is glass that you hold in your hand,

made with only the finest of sand.

Take care of it, it’s one of a kind.

If you break it, you’ll hurt me and I may lose my mind.

Be careful, otherwise it could shatter,

but maybe by then, to you it won’t matter.

It will most likely only matter to me.

The shards will make cuts and blood will run free.

Now you listen up, or someone could get hurt.

Don’t you dare treat this treasure of mine like dirt.

Wait , what the – you didn’t listen at all!

You’ve gone and dropped it! You let it fall!

Go on and look! Look at what you’ve done!

It’s broken to pieces! How dare you just up and run!

This was mine,  you destroyed it… this isn’t fair…

And just like as I feared… you don’t even care.

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It’s a dwelling love that doesn’t want to leave.

It clings to me like your smell,

And it doesn’t want to let go.

It throbs ike the hurt of an old soul.

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Healing

The tears I cried for days,

soon accumulated

into a small pond.

Wildflowers started to

sprout like weeds around

the crystal clear water.

Trees, grass, and daisies

were growing everywhere.

Little animals would come

to drink from my sorrow,

and would thrive off of my tears.

My sadness created

a lovely oasis

for others to gain from,

And that was okay

because I was helping them.

There is a tragic beauty

in having your heart broken.

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I love you more than the birds love the sky.

No one could ever love you more than I…

do. I do. Forever and a day.

I’ll be with you always, I promise to stay.

I’ll be yours until death do us part,

my heart will always be your heart.

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Happy Mother’s Day♡

I am trying to think of the words to express a relationship that has not been any easy one, yet one I hold near and dear to my heart.

I am trying to think of the words to express how strongly I disagree with you, but still somehow find myself thinking of what you would do in my situation, and acting accordingly.

I’m trying to think of the words to express how I’ve learned what not to do by watching you, but also learned exactly what to do and how to make the right decisions from you, too.

I’m trying to think of the words to express how grateful I am for you trying your absolute best to raise a child who hasn’t always made it easy. I’d like to think you succeeded.

I know I’ve said some awful things to you, and I know I haven’t always treated you fairly, but I’m trying to find the words to express how sorry I am for not appreciating you in the past, and to tell you how much I love you.

But I think if I know you well enough, I can wrap all of that up in one quick statement:

I love you, Big Blue, can I keep you?

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